The monster in me

A couple years ago I kept a journal. Well, I loosely kept a journal. When I felt overwhelmed with thoughts battling in my head then I would write it down. One entry I wrote that I just wanted God to transform the monster in me. I remember how I felt when I wrote that. I felt so far behind. I had such an ache in my heart for realizing how wrong I had been living my life. Part of me thought that living blindly felt better because I didnt have this realization back then. I felt scared because, what if I couldnt change? What if I had gone too far and I was too damaged? No matter how I felt I forced myself to push forward. I prayed for the strength to push forward. I stood away from the crowd for a minute and focused on my relationship with God. I focused on being obedient as best I could. I soaked up church, sermons, bible study like never before, and for a while that was all I listened to. Change started to appear. Sometimes I felt like I had leaped over a wide river. Other times I felt like I was barely shuffling an inch at a time. Im overjoyed to say God has transformed the monster in me. I will always have work to do. I will always pray for God to keep me on the potter’s wheel. But that ache in my heart? It’s gone. Love has taken its place. I want that love to grow and overflow onto EVERYONE I meet. I dont know what your journey will be but I know someone out there is ready to start. I pray for you, with you and about you. Happy trails, friend! The road ahead is glorious!

May the Lord direct your hearts into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance.
2 Thessalonians 3:5

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